Lama Surya Das in Awakening to the Sacred says: "Learning how to love is the goal and the purpose of spiritual life - not learning how to develop psychic powers, not learning how to bow, chant, do yoga, or even meditate, but learning to love. Love is the truth. Love is the light."
Before we can identify how love relationships work, let's look at why would they break down. A wise teacher told me once, "Starting relationships is just like getting on a bus- check the destination first". So, before you start a journey, or a relationship or make any decision, ask yourself where is this leading, is this what I want, and why?
Get Over it!
By honest with yourself, you are honouring your self- (third Chakra); you are also taking responsibility for your actions and the consequences of these actions (second Chakra). Things do not just happen- we make them happen. Be clear what your motives are. If the movie does not work, next time, change the script. Your mind will see it as a learning experience and empowering venture, not a wounding one that leaves you bruised and angry. In contemporary jargon- you will get over it quickly!
So, if what you seek is a loving and harmonious relationship, then do not choose an unloving tenuous one or, get stuck in an arduous one while analysing it hoping that partner will change, or improve. People seldom do, unless they make a conscious decision to do so. While you cannot change people, you can make decisions, you can take actions to change and improve yourself. Your energy pattern will change, and whom you attract in your life- as a result- will also change for the better. Remember, any relationship is like a dance. If you change your steps, your partner has to change theirs.
Also consider, It cannot be that everyone in your life is not treating you right, while you are treating yourself right. Bearing in mind the laws of attraction- it does not happen. We attract people, and experiences that match our vibrational level, and our beliefs. As we discussed in 'Planning A Spiritual Journey'- June issue, state your intentions, write them down, and take conscious decisions and actions, which will chart the road map to get you there.
Steps for 'Getting it Right':
∑ If there is a pattern going on in your life, it is there to encourage you to look at yourself and question if the policies, theories and views that you adopted are serving you. If you avoid dealing with 'Karmic Balls', you will probably get stuck on the same track, and ultimately get a 'cosmic slap' on the face!
- Choose to be happy- yes it is a personal choice. Fall in love with yourself! Focus on your own self-development, creativity and talents. When asked 'what do you wish for', most people would respond: to be happy. Are you? Does happiness for you constitute being in love with life, your self, or with another?
- Redefine or expand your definition of love. 'Love is Light', is everywhere; - it is streams of energy that pour down into the same pool in the end. Fall in love with your self, before you expect anyone else to do so. Love your life, your talents, your body; honour them and be aware that you do not to criticise yourself negatively- or else others will.
∑ Give-in to the Will of the Universe (surrender).
Once you 'placed the order', allow the universe to find the best means to 'deliver'! Remember that we can achieve anything we desire, but we can't always determine details of how.
∑ Since the universe is already perfect, allow it to determine what is perfect for you. You may determine exactly what you want in a mate and what you want to create in a partnership, but you can't determine who will fit that bill.
Harold S. Kushner, author of How Good Do We Have To Be? Says:" Our goal is not to go all year without ever losing a game. Our goal is to win more than we lose, and if we can do that consistently enough, then when the end comes, we will have won it all."
Next month we will discuss creativity as a 'spiritual act' and as a tool for love and growth. Till then, love, light and healing.
© Sahar Huneidi, 2004
Read more in Sahar On in Ps Magazine.
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