A new year is a very interesting time indeed.  It is a time we look back at what has happened, what didn't happen, what could have happened and my favourite, what CAN happen in the coming year.  It is a time to reflect, evaluate (objectively), be honest with yourself and decide on what particular area of your life needs the attention, care and nurturing you ought to give.  As Socrates once said "An unexamined life is not worth living".  A new year is also a time to face the inner homework you've been brushing aside, and get started on creating a better life for yourself. 

 

In fact, you can look at the upcoming New Year as a chance to shed your old skin and be born again.  As the saying goes "Today is the first day of the rest of your life", and a new year (whatever culture you may come from: Persian, Jewish, Chinese or Islamic) offers you a chance to start fresh and decide on what area of your life needs a resolution.  After all, a resolution is simply to re-solve an obstacle or challenge that exists in your life.  Whether that challenge is to lose weight, find a suitable partner, quite smoking, read more books or change careers; it is necessary to set goals that complement your values. 

 

You've probably all experienced it at some point in your life; you set goals or resolutions that you never pursue.  You probably get fired up about them and excited, but within a fortnight to a month, you let go of that strong decision and you simply self-sabotage.  You're probably wondering, yes that's happened to me, but how come? 

 

It's really quite simple; all our actions in life are administered by two powerful forces:  our beliefs (see previous article) and our values.  As such it is vital that we set goals that compliment our values; otherwise self-sabotage is almost guaranteed if your decisions conflict with your values.  Let's have a close look at values to appreciate their role.

The fibre of our character

Our values are simply the true fibers of our character and personality.  Our values are what tell us what is right and what is wrong.  They govern what we do, and are great guidelines for measuring our behavior and choices in life.  A young man may help a blind person cross the street, because he values kindness and helping his fellow man - whilst another may look the other way and not care.  Our actions reflect our values, and our values govern our actions.   

 

The more familiar we are with our values, the better we'll know ourselves and who we truly are.  Stephen Covey couldn't be more spot on when he said "Self-knowledge appears as the beacon toward which successful people have always

traveled". 

 

Unfortunately the world around us seems to be confusing us more and more every day.  Pop-culture and consumerism influences us, and throws us off the path of self-knowledge.  Sadly, we take on board other people's values and then start to wonder why we're not happy. It is simply because we stop being us, and start being what society dictates.

 

Know thy self!

How to do that takes no more than 20 minutes.  Simply sit down with a blank piece of paper, a pen and complete honesty with yourself. Ask the following questions and list whatever comes to mind.

 

• Write down the 7 qualities you most admire in other people.

• Which famous person do you respect and admire most? And why?

• If you were invisible at a dinner party with lost of your friends and family there, what would you like to hear them say about you?

• If you could step out of your body and have the chance to give 5 pieces of advice to yourself as your own best friend, what would they be?

You should by now have a nice list of values that you identify with.  Whether it includes integrity, honesty, punctuality, freedom, motherhood or fame; or not, remember that this list is for you and no one else.  No one is judging you, and neither should you. 

 

• Now simply provide each value you have listed with a numerical number, that you see fit, between 1-10 (1 being most important and 10 the least). 

This exercise is aimed at helping you gain the awareness into who you are and what you value.  Never compare yourself to anyone else, you are a very unique individual and there is no one else on the face of this earth exactly like you.  Just be who you are and remember to love who you are - only then will you be able to grow. 

 

The 4 R's of renewal

Now that we have a list of values, let us explore what Michael Neill refers to as the 4 R's of renewal. 

Relax.  Take the last week of this month as a time to simply take things easier.  Brush aside the worries, fears, stresses and pressures that you've dealt with all year. Allow yourself a chance to breathe, clear your mind and enjoy what gives you pleasure.

Review.  Simply go over whatever you've achieved the past year, notice what you could have done differently, and ask what else needs to be done.  Appreciate your achievements and give yourself a pat on the back, as you decide on what still needs to be done in the next year.  This is your chance to make a list of goals for the next 12 months- make sure you break your goals into quarterly time frames.  Remember: "A dream is a dream, but a goal is a dream with a deadline".

Recharge.  Remind yourself of every wonderful thing in your life: your health, the roof over your head, your healthy mind which is your most efficient computer, your loved ones, and your ambitions.  Remember that in order to maintain harmony in your life, you need to nurture an ongoing balance in all areas of your life.  This is a great chance to heal old wounds, make your peace with yourself and others you may be in conflict with and become who you wish to be. 

 

Remember that life is simply an ongoing education that contributes to our emotional and spiritual evolution.  Embrace that, and allow yourself the chance to look back and learn from the experiences you've had.  Think of this stage as rebooting your inner PC to start with newly installed software that can help you in the year ahead.

Resume.  One of my favorite songs is That's Life by Frank Sinatra.  There is a particular verse that goes: "When I find myself flat on my face, I just pick myself up and get back in the race..That's Life".  After every fall, or achievement there awaits one constructive step, to resume and start moving ahead once more.  Once you have decided on your new set of goals (however small or big) and recharged yourself, it is time to get back on track with gusto and passion and work your way forward.

 

Keys to success

There has been much research done in the last 50 years on the keys to success, and one of the most powerful qualities they discovered among high achiever was determination.  Determination is what motivates a one year old child to get up time and time again until they learn to take their first step.  There is much to be learned from a one year old child, for their determination is something we can all learn from.

 

True we all make mistakes, we all get bad results, we end up with disappointments that truly hurt, but all we can do is learn from them and constantly try new avenues that haven't been explored before.  Life is worth living and learning, and the only person in charge of your life is yourself.  It is what you decide to do that determines where you end up.  

 

Joel Barker once said: "Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world". The key is to make sure that your true values dictate your vision and then simply go for it. 

 

Taymour Qabazard

For individual and corporate consultation, contact:
+44 207 602 5477 or email  info@guiding-light.net, www.guiding-light.net