Dear Sabrine,

You will relax when you want to relax and are ready for it.

Everybody gets ill, we all have problems; these are just facts of life we have to accept and learn how to deal with them without loosing site of the big picture. You must find time to do what you feel you must do, rather than just feel down. It could be that without realising, you are taking all this as excuses for not getting on with life, or your writing.

Life itself, the universe, is born out of pain. If you were to listen to the sounds of stars dying and big explosions to create other stars, just imagine the size of it all. So, that is normal. Life is born out of chaos. What is not normal is to see only that, only the blocks and the down side of life. Peace and harmony we have to work at. We have to change our perspective and consciously seek a more harmonious life.

I hope your sister's illness is nothing serious, but even while you are looking after her, you can still pursue your job hunting and your writing, even if it through courses by correspondence.

Once you learn and work heard at harmony, then it comes easy. Each day will be easier, because your perspective would have changed. You have to train yourself to see peace and harmony, for both, harmony and chaos exist around us and in the universe itself.

Read books and listen to CD's Caroline Myss, and read The Nature of Personal Reality: Specific, Practical Techniques for Solving Everyday Problems &Enriching the Life You Know, and The power of Intention by Wayne Dwyer, and Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life Thomas Moore. 

If you do not, you would only judge your life by your limited perspective. So be gently on yourself, and work at expanding your awareness and your perspective. Ask yourself, how Do You Create Your Day?

Probably, my reading made you aware of what life can be like and what you can achieve and you are feeling bad since, because you do not how to materialise it. So read the above, and when you start your day, focus on how you want your day, just today, to be like. With practice you will see that we create, through our own beliefs, our reality. And this is the ultimate reality, to realise that we can create what we desire in our lives. So learn from your 'down hill' phase, for you created that for yourself (not my reading), and start identifying how you got to that stage; only then you can begin to change, from ‘victim’ to ‘creator’.

I hope that helps!

Love and light

Sahar